Never Will I Ever

13288111_10153464247232553_647970226_oHave you ever said to yourself “I will NEVER do that!”? This is the statement usually uttered after you witness a scenario in which you are judging the participants vehemently. I wish that I could say that I do not judge people, unfortunately, I am not immune to the occasional moment of judgement. In the past, I seemed to judge parents in particular. Raising kids and being on mat leave is WAY easier than any full-time job anyway, right? (all parents insert snort-chuckle here)

I reached out to my stroller gang and here is a list of all the things we promised we’d never do, but now find ourselves doing! (Go ahead, judge us, and then join us when you have kids!)

  1. I will NEVER let my kid eat food off the floor

    (or suck on a soother or a toy or any other item that starts on the floor and ends up in the mouth!) Now I live on the blissful assumption that the five second rule is, in fact, scientifically accurate.

  2. I will NOT dress my baby girl in girly-girl frills and pink

    She will wear grey, white, black and all other gender neutral and modern outfits that I can find. Tell that to all the well-meaning grandma’s and great-aunties who love to gift their precious girls the pinkest of outfits. Turns out, pink actually suits little girls and it is quite fun to live out those childhood fantasies of dressing an actual baby (instead of a doll) in frilly dresses.

  3. I will NEVER put a leash on my child. 

    Thankfully, I’m not at the mobile stage of parenthood yet. I am an avid people watcher, however, and if I’ve learned anything from my studies, it’s that toddler’s requires a high level of cardiovascular effort. I used to watch the parents at Disneyland with disgust. How could you tie up your child like a dog? Now, I’m seriously contemplating the leash thing…but maybe hidden in the form of a backpack. That seems to make it a little more humane, I think.

  4. I will NEVER let my child determine my schedule. 

    I learned this was not a realistic expectation the first week I became a mom.  It took me a good month to leave the house without a panic attack (and there was that incident at chapters that involved mild insanity in the public washroom). To be honest, the anxiety still hasn’t completely left.

  5. I will NOT let myself go.

    Tell this one to my leg hair…and my sweat pants…and week old ponytail…and all the poor souls who witnessed my hobo get-up and unwashed face in the supermarket this morning.

  6. I will NOT let my baby watch t.v. 

    Television is too stimulating for children and it affects their sleep and blah blah blah blah. That’s all fine and good, and I promise my intentions are honourable, but momma needs her healthy dose of Ellen. ‘mmiright? Also, if Sesame Street means I get a whole 5 minutes in the shower without screaming, I’ll take it!

  7. I will NEVER whip out the boob publicly for breastfeeding

    Okay, so I’m not flashing myself in public, but I am more comfortable with breastfeeding in public. You can be discrete and still feed little munchkin while out and about. I give props to anyone who is comfortable feeding without a cover (no, they are not looking for attention, the baby is just hungry and breastfeeding is hard enough as it is without having to worry about a cover)

  8. I will NOT be one of those people who post pictures incessantly on social media

    I’m just going to let this blog speak for itself on this point.

  9. I will NEVER own a minivan 

    To be honest I am still in denial about this one. I now own the new version of the hockey mom vehicle-the SUV. I watched my sister and her husband succumb to the evolution of luxury car owner to minivan owner. And in her words, she’d never go back!

  10. I will NEVER let my baby sleep in my bed 

    I saved this one for last for a reason. I still have a lot of shame associated with this. In the end, the reality of parenthood is that it’s about survival. And sometimes, you do what you have to just to get to the next day. So yes, every morning my daughter ends up in my bed.  She sometimes actually gives me an extra hour of sleep. So I do it and I sometimes I get to sleep longer (and sometimes I don’t).

The next time you catch yourself saying “I will NEVER do that!”, just remember, that until you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, you might not know exactly what you will actually do one day.

We’d love to hear from you! Have you ever surprised yourself by doing something you swore you never would?

Shout out to all my mom’s out there who contributed to this list. You guys are what keeps me sane. -P, D, C and Ch (you know who you are!)

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